Choices We Make

The choices we make determine much about our life. Whether it's a new haircut or betraying our friend. Each choice we make affects us or someone else in either a positive or a negative way. I know this from experience. Unfortunately though, many of my choices have been bad.

Recently I've been making the same bad choice over and over. I've been talking to my ex and started dating him again. This guy has made me into a person I'm not proud of. I became so obsessed and dependent on him that I never had time for my friends. My parents helped me realize just how much he was affecting me and I was able to end the relationship. But lo and behold, a few weeks after I broke up with him, I started talking to him again. I fell back into the unrecognizable me. I snuck around and secretly saw him. I made a new texting account on my iPod so I could talk to him. I even made my friends lie for me so my parents wouldn't find out. My parents knew though. They knew because I wasn't being me anymore. I was being the teenager that they had so many problems with. The teenager who made life miserable because she was so obsessed with one guy. Yet again, they helped me through it. I was able to stop talking to him and associating with him for a good 1-2 months. Until about 3 weeks ago.....

I relapsed. I'm going through a rough time right now with my dad and didn't know what to do. So I went back to secretly talking to and dating this guy and ruining myself. Then one night, I snapped. I broke down and took things out on my parents. Then I told my mom everything. I told her that I was dating him and talking to him again. I told her that I needed help. That the only reason I keep going back to this guy is because I don't know what else to do when things are tough for me. She talked to me and encouraged me and retold me for the umpteenth time that I need to stay away from him. I need to find a new focus. I need to just stay away from guys. I need to just live my life and focus on me. And that's exactly what I plan on doing.

With the help of my mom and stepdad (along with the help of some friends), I've focused on myself and my life. I'm ignoring guys and loving life. I still have a long way to go and a lot of trust to earn back. It won't be easy, but I can do it. It's better than the alternative that I've been doing.

I guess Einstein was right when he said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time. That's what I did. I regret it. I ruined my life and didn't do much to help my parents' life. So remember people out there each choice you make changes something and sometimes everything.

Until next time, live long and prosper.