Was it worth it?

So this post will be more for my personal thoughts then anything, but please read this if you are depressed/suicidal or know someone who is. This post is about the beginning of new, hard journey for me, and the end of a previous one....

I guess I'll start from the beginning. I met my best friend last year in English. At first we were kinda weary of each other, but then we got to know each other and bonded. We drifted apart after the class ended. Then towards the end of this year we got close again. But she wasn't the same person that I knew. This person was dark, sneaky, kinda slutty, and suicidal. The person I knew was fun, loving, committed, and loved life. It was a major difference, but I didn't want to lose her so I ignored it. But things just kept getting worse. She was sneaking out at night, cheating on her boyfriend, getting drunk, cutting, threatening to commit suicide, etc. I tried talking to her, but why should she listen to me? Yet again, I ignored it so I wouldn't lose her as a friend. Then, one day, her parents found out what she had been doing. She got in big trouble, but she didn't see why she was in trouble. She didn't get what was so bad. Well she was still grounded when the most recent thing happen...

Here we are. Her, me, our two friends. We were at the summer program we do. Well two weeks ago an older guy joined the camp thing. She immediately took interest. He's engaged and over-aged. She didn't care. They started kissing and making out and other such stuff. It was disgusting and shocking for us to watch. The counselors talked to her and tried to get her to stop, but that only made her want to do it more. She wouldn't listen to us. And then yesterday the truth came clear to us. We found out that she was using one of my friend's iPod without her knowing. She drank alcohol at that friend's house. She was texting some not so good stuff to the older guy. She was becoming suicidal again. We were terrified. We didn't know what to do. So last night, one of my friends and I stayed up all night talking about. We finally decided that we would tell someone about it. We couldn't keep watching her do this. She wouldn't listen to us. So we made a plan to tell my friend's mom the next morning, even f it meant losing our friend. She needed help and we couldn't offer it....

So there we were.... At 7:17 a.m. we were standing in the kitchen with my friend's mom. We were nervous and scared, but we told her everything that was going on anyways. We didn't want her to get hurt. We didn't want her to get into more trouble. We had to get her help though. And we did. My friend's mom told her mom what was going on and what had been happening. We got through one obstacle. Now for the biggest moment. We had to face our friend who had no clue what we did yet....

She showed up at 7:30. My other friend was in the shower. She came in and told me she had something in her bag that she wanted to show me. Next thing you know she pulls out a knife and says that she was going to start cutting again. I couldn't do it. She had no idea how much that hurt me. The idea of losing her.... I just... I can't..

A few minutes after she showed up her mom came back to the house. Her mom told her that she knew everything that she had been doing. She came back in and sat down on the couch and wouldn't talk to anyone. It wasn't until it was just her, me, and our other two friends. She snapped and we lost it. She was mad at us for telling, which I get. She said we didn't care and that we just wanted her life to be ruined. Well that was the final straw. It turned into a full out screaming match. Then there was crying. We couldn't take it. It hurt us so much. She has no idea. And now she's mad at us...

Well I guess the point of this whole long blog is: was it worth it? I think it was. I got my friend the help she needed so badly. It was hard for me. It really was. If my friend had just listened to me, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. I don't regret this choice. If I lose her over this, it's really going to hurt, but at least I can say I helped her and I did all I could. For all those people out there who are depressed or suicidal, talk to your friends, take their advice, and move forward. If you don't have a friend, then talk to me. For all those people out there who know someone like this, if they aren't listening to you, say something. If they just need to talk and need reassurance about their life, listen and give it to them.

I'm going to stop writing now because this is way too long, but remember you're not alone and I care about you all. I really do. So until next time, goodbye and good luck. <3

And also, live long and prosper. :)